DRIVEL: Opinions and Reviews copywriter toronto

Dear Single Men:©2002
[Written after reflecting on the state of Personal ads]

"I need to be around women, but not a woman."
Had your heart smashed enough times?
Successfully escaped from one irreplaceable girl and lived to regret it?

So you're back in the ring -- with offers of backwashes and requests for someone to read in bed with. [both taken from actual Personal ads]

Are you lusting after contentment, the most elusive state?

You've been wandering and swaggering and squandering and staggering steadily back to something you're now pretty sure you once had. Only this time, you promise you’ll take it seriously when you find it. And this--as you also now know--depends on desire and skill. (Having a Testarossa™ ain't the same as knowing how to shift gears, darlins.)

Can you deal with a long slow getting-to-know stage? No more shipwrecks with hormones at the helm? Deal. Sure, why not?--it's the only thing that ain't old.

Could you also deal with a "re-arrange me on a subatomic level in seconds flat and I’ll follow you anywhere" stage? Oh yeah. Have feet, can be swept off them. For undeniability, not stagecraft.

You want women who are artistic, entrepreneurial, audacious, confident, earthy, educated, tender, playful—Simone Boop or Betty de Beauvoir—who cook, who dance. You want an instant harem.

I can tell you in return that I’m fiercely proud of my life. It reeks of survival and hospitality and optimism. Blissed and spent in a good man's arms is my antidote for any of life's tests. In something I actually call a boudoir. In the old school sense. The lab, the workshop, the shrine, the altar, the playpen, the salon, the reading room, the brunch room, the dressing room, AND the most excellent fort with a lock and everything.

Woman also have whims: Be fit and stand up straight like gravity is a rumour. Stare at us. Tolerate us staring back. Be unafraid of visible pleasure. Don't run your life around your dog's bladder and bowel sked. Ditch the dark colored sheets and towels....navy wasn't invented for laundry done quarterly. And stop looking for the catch. Sometimes, you contaminate reality with your due diligence. A year from now, this will be a year ago, so make a toothsome memory, if nothing else.

Prayer to St. Audacious, patron of the Personals:
"Bless us all for still believing in the transformation of love;
for craving—and being—a true ally.
White haired anniversaries, still staring at each other ...if it's a dream, give us sweet dreams.
But for now, just give us something to work with, please? Thanks and amen and hurry up."